Where You Meet Her Matters

Knowing good places to meet women will help you take your dating life to the next level – but only if you know how to meet women in each of those places.  There are, after all, subtle differences in how to meet women that change depending on the environment you’re in.  To learn what these differences are, read on.

Bars and clubs

Bars and clubs are high-energy environments.  So when meeting women in these places you want to make sure your energy level matches – or is slightly higher – than that of the girl you’re approaching.  This way she’ll see you in a positive light – as someone who can add value and make her night more enjoyable.  By contrast, if you came in with lower-energy, she’d see you as someone who was sucking the life right out of the room.

Now if you’re not feeling high-energy a great way to put yourself in that state is to give high-fives and cheers glasses with whoever passes by.  Not only does this boost your energy level, it gets your social muscles warmed up and ready to go.  You’ll get charged up and feel ready to approach that cute girl the moment you see her.  From there, all you’ve got to do is walk up and get a conversation going with some light, playful banter (for tips and examples on how to banter, click here).

The daytime

There are plenty of good places to meet women in the daytime (coffee shops, malls, parks, etc.).  But meeting girls in the daytime environment is slightly different than meeting girls in bars or clubs.  Reason being, there’s a lot less noise, activity, and excitement during the day.  Since you’re in a more low-key environment, you won’t need nearly as much energy to make a good impression approaching women.

Like the nighttime environments though, you can still open your conversations with some playful banter.  After that, roll straight into some qualification/rapport.  Get to know the girl by asking questions that get her to talk about herself in a positive way (keeping the conversation positive means she’ll feel good while talking to you – which is ultimately the effect you want to have on women).  Questions like “So what do you do for fun?” or even “What do you have going on today?” are great as they’re open ended and allow the girl to give as much information as she feels comfortable sharing.

Concerts and music festivals

Good places to meet women that aren’t talked about as much as they probably should be are concerts and music festivals.  What makes these such good places to meet women is they’re fun, social environments where you already know you have something in common with the women there.

Now the thing about meeting women in these environments is that they can be loud and difficult to get a conversation going.  So your nonverbal communication is going to be absolutely critical for meeting and attracting women in these venues.  To attract women nonverbally, be sure to friendliness and confidence through your body language.  Stand tall with your head up, back straight, and your muscles relaxed.  If you make eye contact with a woman you’re interested in, maintain a strong, warm gaze.  A strong gaze means you look at her without darting your eyes away.  A warm gaze means you relax your focus.  Look into her eyes but make sure you’re still aware of the rest of her face (and if she’s a few feet away, the rest of her body).  This will keep you from having a hard, focused stare and will give off a warmer, more inviting vibe.

Meeting girls at work

Some guys don’t think they can meet a girl while she’s at work, but that is simply not true.  A girl’s work can be a great place to meet a woman, get her number, and even plan a date.  Think about it: most people are bored at their jobs – doing the same thing day in and day out.  If you come along and spice things up with some playful flirting, you can totally make her day.

Another reason a girl’s work is an especially good place to meet women is that the girl likely isn’t leaving anytime soon.  If she’s a waitress, in retail, or anything like that, you know she’ll be sticking around for a while.  What this means is you’ve got plenty of time to build attraction.  You can start off showing just a little interest (facing your body away from her while you talk to her, for example).  As time goes on and she proves to be a cool girl, you can then give her more and more of your attention (face her completely).  Building interest gradually like this lets her see you’re actually interested in her, and not just how she looks.

Class

Anything from an improv class to a yoga class can be a good place to meet women.  One reason is you have an easy way to strike up conversation (just ask “so what’d you think of the class” as you walk out the door).  Plus, spending time in the same room doing the same activity is a great way to build familiarity and comfort.

While classes are a good place to meet women they do have one downfall.  You may not want to earn the reputation as the guy who tries to date every cute girl in class.  To avoid this – and get the most out of meeting women through classes – don’t ask too many girls on dates directly.  Instead, invite the girls (and everyone else from your class) to more casual social events – such as a night on the town, or a party.  Doing this will expand your social circle which in itself will multiply your opportunities to meet attractive women.  And if there’s a particular girl from class you’re interested in, you can always ask her out on a date from there.  By waiting until you know her a bit better she’ll be able to see that you’re genuinely interested in her and not just chasing after every attractive girl that crosses your path.

Brian M - author of 191 posts on The Art of Charm

Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he's made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use.

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in Approaching A Woman, Art of Dating

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