How to Use a Mirror to Raise Your Self-Esteem

It sounds silly, but a mirror can be one of the most powerful tools for knowing how to raise self esteem. No, you’re not going to look into it and tell yourself how amazing you look all the time. However, there are exercises that you can use when it comes to self-improvement and, more importantly, raising your self-esteem, that will help you to break through barriers and continue down the road toward becoming the man you want to be.


It’s a scientific fact: Good, strong posture will make you feel more confident (and it is one of the easiest ways when it comes to understanding how to raise self esteem). And the best way to practice your posture is by standing in front of a mirror. Here’s how it’s done:

  1. Stand in the mirror as your normally would.
  2. Close your eyes.
  3. Picture a piece of string pulling your head up.
  4. Picture a magnet pulling your feet down.
  5. Let the tension between the two straighten you out until you’re standing up tall.
  6. Open your eyes.
  7. Make small adjustments to your posture: Hold your shoulders back and your head straight.
  8. Relax into a more natural, but no less straight, posture.
  9. “Scan” your body for what it feels like to stand like this. Try to make a memory of it.

Practice this a couple times a week and you’ll find that you’ll be able to stand up straight better when you need to. Do that enough and you’re going to start busting self-confidence from every seam.


Smile big, smile broadly and smile with your whole face — and practice it in the mirror:

  1. Remember something that you once found wildly hilarious.
  2. Start laughing. Don’t worry if you have to fake it a little at first.
  3. Let your laughter become loud and boisterous.
  4. Form an exaggerated smile on your face, now thinking of something that makes you happy.
  5. Slowly let the smile go from exaggerated to natural, but beaming.
  6. Scan your face. Form a memory of what this feels like.

Believe me when I tell you that you’re going to know what your winning smile feels like when you see it. The trick is to smile with your whole face, especially your eyes.


We’re big on affirmations at The Art of Charm, but not like the ones you’ve normally heard. Let’s face it: If you don’t have high self-esteem, no amount of telling yourself how great you are is going to change that.

What will change that is crafting the right kind of affirmation. That can be telling yourself something positive about yourself that you actually believe. It can also be a reminder of why you need to do something — what’s in it for you.

Questions often work better in this regard. Rather than telling yourself to do something like a drill sergeant, ask yourself what the reward of doing something is.

Now you know how to raise your self esteem, you just have to start practicing.

AJ Harbinger - author of 1164 posts on The Art of Charm

AJ Harbinger is one of the world’s top relationship development experts. His company, The Art of Charm, is a leading training facility for top performers that want to overcome social anxiety, develop social capital and build relationships of the highest quality. Raised by a single father, AJ felt a strong desire to learn about relationships and the elements that make them successful. However, this interest went largely untapped for many years. Following the path set out for him by his family, AJ studied biology in college and went on to pursue a Ph.D. in Cancer Biology at the University of Michigan. It was at this time that he began to feel immense pressure from the cancer lab he worked in and began to explore other outlets for expression. It was at this point that The Art of Charm Podcast was born.

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