Guys are very good at coming up with excuses not to approach attractive girls. But these excuses just hold men back from meeting amazing women. This article will examine some of the top excuses men have for not approaching women and show how you can overcome them. Then, for extra motivation, I’ll give you three reasons why you should approach attractive girls whenever you get the chance.
3 Excuses not to approach women:
Excuse #1 “She probably has a boyfriend”
Guys often assume that all attractive girls are taken. But when you take the time actually find out whether or not the woman has a boyfriend you’ll often be pleasantly surprised. There are, after all, a million reasons why an attractive woman may be single (maybe she is new in town, is busy and doesn’t get out much, or isn’t the “relationship type”, etc).
To find out whether or not she’s available all you have to do is ask. A fun, playful way to ask a girl this question would be to say something like “So how many boyfriends do you have?” This will give you the information you’re looking for while getting the girl to smile and keeping the conversation with the woman light and fun.
Excuse #2 “She’s out of my league”
This belief that any woman may be out of your league is complete nonsense. Why? Because the #1 most important trait for attracting women is confidence – and that’s something any man can develop.
One way to help build confidence in yourself is to use afformations. This process is similar to affirmations but rather than repeating a positive statement, you ask yourself a question that would generate a positive statement as an answer.
For example, instead of saying “beautiful women want me” (which is an affirmation) try asking yourself “Why are beautiful women attracted to me?” This primes your subconscious mind to start searching for reasons why women would be attracted to you. By focusing on these reasons the belief that women are attracted to you will start to become more deeply ingrained in your mind. You’ll feel more confident with women and see yourself as the attractive man women want.
Excuse #3 “She probably sick of guys hitting on her”
To some extent guys are right about this one. Attractive girls are hit on (poorly) by guys all the time. Women are sick of guys who need to be drunk in order to approach a woman. They’re tired of guys who are just looking to get something (a phone number, sex, etc) from women. They’ve had enough of guys being fake and trying to look cool in hopes of impressing a girl.
But if you’re different from the rest of the guys that hit on women – if you’re fun, genuine, and not trying to get anything from the girl – then women will enjoy being approached by you.
The best part is that approaching attractive girls in this way is incredibly easy. All you have to do is walk up and be totally real. Start a conversation with the woman simply by saying something like “Hi, you’re totally cute, my name is ___”. Women appreciate authenticity so this alone can be all you need to get women interested in you right away.
3 Reason to approach attractive women
Reason #1 Approaching women feels great and builds confidence
When you approach a woman you’re attracted to in the open, authentic way mentioned above you’re going to notice something – that approaching women feels damn good. Even if the girl rejects you, knowing that you had the courage to go after what you wanted is an incredible feeling. And the more you do it, the more confidence you gain in approaching women.
To further build this confidence with women and get yourself in the habit of approaching women, start following the two-second rule. When you see an attractive girl, approach her within two seconds. Don’t think about it – just go. This will help you get more approaches under your belt and therefore feel more confident when approaching women.
Reason #2 Women want to have fun
People tend to go through the same routines day after day. Attractive girls are no different and are just as bored as everyone else. They’d love it if a guy was able to shake things up and brighten their day
A great way to get a girl smiling and brighten up her day is to start a conversation with a girl using fun, playful banter. For example, playfully teasing a girl by saying something like “Oh no, you look like trouble…” (while keeping a smile on your face so she knows you’re joking) can be a fun way to get a conversation with a girl going. (For more banter lines that will help you start conversations with women check out the Art of Charm banter cheat sheet.)
Reason #3 Women want to connect
Most guys are so preoccupied with a woman’s looks that they’re unable to see and appreciate the girl for who she is. This means that many girls – especially attractive girls – are robbed of the personal connection they desire. Approaching a woman then, can be your opportunity to give the girl something she wants but struggles to get from most men.
In the Art of Charm podcast with Bryan Bayer, Bryan talks about how you can connect with women at this deeper level. One way is to share the impact she has on you by stating how she makes you feel (for example, saying “wow, I feel nervous talking to you”). Opening up and sharing how you feel is a great way get women to feel that connection while building rapport with the woman.
Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he's made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use.
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